The cookies I just baked are so amazing, if I had a boyfriend, he would propose to me.

Seriously, my baking skills are wasted on being single.

I’m warm and cozy and alone in my apartment.  My roommate is at work.  The sky is pouring snow and because of the insanely high winds, it looks like those pictures of enormous schools of fish swimming in the ocean.  The coffee just finished brewing.  I’m immensely content.

I went to confession today.  The priest asked me to say a prayer from the sincerity of my heart, asking for God to provide me with what I need.  I had no idea what to say, or pray as it were.  What do I need?

I have ideas about what I want.  I want to live where it snows consistently.  I love the snow, despite the cold, and the muck, and the laundry, and the aches.  I want to have a house, with a fireplace and a wood-burning stove.  (Clearly, I just want to burn as many trees as possible.)  I want a huge, claw-foot bathtub.  I want to have projects to do, like walls to paint and furniture to refinish.  I want a whole drawer full of wool socks.  I want a dog.  I want a husband and children to share this home with me.

But what do I really need?  What do I need that I don’t have?

So that’s what I asked God.  I asked him to tell me what I need.

I’m interested in what he’ll have to say.  Maybe it will be something I didn’t expect.  Maybe it will be something so obvious I won’t be able to do anything but laugh.  Maybe it will be the opposite of all my desires.  Maybe it won’t.

But for Valentine’s Day God gave me snow, and safety, and sugar, so that’s more than enough for me.

(3 Years, 4 Months, and 24 Days Sober)