Kate and I are at a wedding reception. I’m not sure who has gotten married. It isn’t either of us. The reception is outside, in a wood. There are lights in the trees and a band playing somewhere. We pass a cluster of tree stumps where a group of golden illuminated beers are set. Kate picks up a beer. She turns to me.
“Come on French, it won’t matter. It’s just a beer.”
I grab one of the beers and waltz off, following Kate into the woods, laughing. Why am I stressed about a beer anyway? Haven’t I been good enough?
I stumble into another clearing. There is no one there. No lights, no music. I’m dizzy and feel sick. I bend at my waist, holding my hands cupped under my mouth. Into my hands begins to fall shards of glass. I want to stop and look at the glass. I want to yell for help. But the glass is falling out of my mouth faster and faster, bright pieces of light streaked in blood. Suddenly, I am throwing up huge mouthfuls of glass. It’s pouring out of me, tearing me apart from the inside. My lips are gone and my arms are torn to ribbons. I can’t stop vomiting glass.
I woke up in tears.
And needless to say, it’s been hard for me to sleep the last couple of days.
I dragged half my pillows to the opposite end of my bed. It’s a copping mechanism that seems to happen without my thinking about it. Usually for about a week in the winter, when anxiety is high, I end up sleeping with my head at the foot of my bed, on the opposite side from where I usually sleep. Last week I knew that closing my eyes would mean seeing my hands bloodied and full of glass, so it has helped, somehow, to be at the opposite end of the bed. I don’t pretend it makes sense.
I also don’t pretend that I am an ancient Israelite in service of the Pharaoh. Dream interpretation isn’t my strong suit. Now, I usually only have vivid, memorable dreams when I am intensely stressed out. (Writing my senior thesis in college, I had a two week long series of dreams in which a friend tried to murder me and I escaped and he chased my through 1970s San Francisco. I was writing about William Faulkner, so it didn’t even thematically fit.) I hadn’t thought that I was particularly stressed; not any more than the usual work, family, weight, money, basic necessities of life crap.
Today I felt as though I had a belly full of glass, while waking.
One of my students had a really terrible day. She cried and cried and I had to hold her and rock her until she calmed down. She had had a disagreement with her friends, and she has been having some trouble controlling herself lately, so she just became overwrought. She told me that she had wanted to tell me for a while that she was sad, but that every time she tried I acted like I didn’t have time for her and didn’t care how she felt.
It was awful.
I felt the same as I had in my dream: helpless, alone, trapped in reaction that I couldn’t control. When I drank I threw up a lot. I was rather talented at vomiting. But it terrified me. Sometimes I would throw up so much, and for so long, that I wouldn’t be able to breath. I would feel as if my whole body was filling up; that what I wanted out of me so desperately was going to invade every space and cut off any chance I had of escape.
When it was alcohol, at least I knew what the immediate poison I wanted to expel was. Now, I’m not sure exactly what is inside of me that has consumed me to the point I fear harm from inside, that I am distracted into indifference. What have I taken into myself that needs to be taken out again?
My friend Mary drove me home after work. She listened to me babble about how upset I was. Before I got out of the car, she asked me, “What are you going to do now?” I told her the truth, I don’t know. I don’t know yet exactly what’s wrong, so I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I need to change.
I don’t know how to free myself without being sliced to pieces.
(3 Years, 4 Months, and 19 Days Sober)