My resolution for 2014 is to take more time to appreciate the easy happy things.

And so far it’s going really well.

I’ve eaten cupcakes for breakfast the last two days running.  (I use running as in ongoing, not actually movement of my body through space.  Please.)  On January 1st, around 11am, there was a knock at my door.  I was in bed sleeping off the full day of travel on the 31st that took me from Portland to DC.  My roommate was huddled in bed, valiantly fighting the cold that wouldn’t end.  I decided to be the nicer person and answer the door.  A slightly disgruntled looking man said “Andrea?” and upon my nod handed me a pink and black bag.  He turned without another word.  The bag was from Georgetown Cupcake (as was pressumably, the deliver man) and inside was a pink box, holding a dozen gluten-free cupcakes.  (Well, what else would be in the box?)  The card said:

FREEEEEDOM!!!!! AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

It was a gift from Katie.  I knew she was sending me something (there had been a slight scheduling problem due to my leaving town) but I admit I was totally floored.  Floored by my friend’s generosity and thoughtfulness, not to mention her ability to put up with my endless (and childish) complaining about a co-worker.  And then I faced the question: what do I do with a dozen cupcakes sent to me in celebration of an event I really had nothing to do with?

Simple answer: eat them.  For breakfast.

2013 was kind of a slog.  It was a long year, and much more emotional than I care for.  Every time I turned around it seemed I was embroiled in some sort of painful and difficult situation, either of my own making in the present, or unresolved damage from the past. There was much more “I have to” than “I want to” and that just drains you after a while.  I wouldn’t say it was a bad year.  There wasn’t an tragedy that marred the landscape.  There wasn’t some demon I felt I would never escape from.  No, in fact, I had a lot of good things.  I got better at my job.  I spent time with family and friends.  I enjoyed books and movies and music and art.  I stayed sober.  I wouldn’t say that there was anything bad about 2013.

But it was long, and sort of dreary.  And I think that was mostly me.  Mostly because I didn’t want to see what was fun and sweet and hilarious about my life.  I’ve always had a problem showing gratitude in my daily life.  I pray when in need, but I forget to pray in thanks.  I tend to look at good things as the consolation for all the shitty things I’m so good at identifying (and magnifying).  And I would like to change that.

(2 Years, 3 Months, and 13 Days Sober)