I decided to take a break from my life today.

After an utterly exhausting round of parent/teacher conferences, I decided that I would just not today: not shower, not get dressed, not get out of bed, not eat food that is good for me, not watch high quality programming.  You see, for all I complain about it, I really do like my life.  It’s difficult and frustrating, but full of love and silliness and dorky goodness.  Yesterday I used a quote from Game of Thrones as a spelling test sentence and I just about choked trying not to laugh at myself.  I’m amazing.

But something is coming.  I can feel it.  I know it sounds stupid to say, but be it tragedy or triumph, something is about to happen in my life.  I don’t know if it will come from the outside or if I will initiate from the inside.  I just know that everything is a little off right now.  My life feels too small for me.  Wounds that have been long festering are starting to heal.  Habit that I was holding onto because their pain was comforting are no longer a comfort and do not seem that much of a burden to release.  I feel neither frightened by the future or belabored in the present.  

Knowing this, or knowing at least that I think this, today was like a little mini-vacation, before whatever happens happens.  I have work and chores and library books.  All those things are still there.  But today I have naps and bad TV.  I had a few hours to choose not to be focused and committed and dutiful.  

But I think my roommate would really appreciate it if I cleaned my dishes.

(2 Years, 1 Month and 26 Days Sober)